Study Your Spouse

If you want to have a great life, study your spouse! Since marriage is the most important earthly relationship we will have, it is critical to work at our marriage if we are going to have a great life. One way to do this is figure out the likes and dislikes of your spouse and minister to their desires and needs. Generally men are more physical and women are more emotional. Men want to be with their spouse, women want to talk with their spouse. Each individual has a variety of things which say "I love you." This may be receiving gifts, physical touch, doing the dishes, or going hiking. It is critical to find out what tells your spouse you love him or her and make sure to serve your spouse in this area.
I assure you dishes are not my thing, but I have found this is one way I can communicate to Kathy I love her. Especially doing them with her. One book that is helpful in this area is Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages. This is an excellent work to read with your spouse to learn more about him or her. You can find it at CBD at http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=73156&netp_id=140652&event=ESRCN&item_code=WW
When in doubt about how you can serve your spouse, just ask. If you really want to have a great life, you'll make the effort to study your spouse.

Marry the Right Spouse

If you want to have a great life, marry the right person! In his wonderful list of how to have success, H. Jackson Browne puts at the top of his list, "Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery." (to see the whole list go to - http://web.utk.edu/~jgoverly/21suggestions.html ) Of course, as in many decisions, hindsight is 20-20. We learn much about our spouse after the fact.
But our divorce rate would say that many people are making the wrong decision concerning their spouse because they are basing their decision on the wrong information.
Quite often people base this decision on whether this person is attractive (emotionally and physically) and whether this person meets their needs (emotionally and physically). The problem of course is this attraction wears off in a marriage and then your marriage is based upon more fundamental issues.
Paramount in the marriage decision is a person's character and values. Going on dates and spending bursts of time together does not often reveal this. Therefore, a person needs to understand their potential partners core beliefs before getting married. The Bible is very clear that the Christian should only marry another Christ follower. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:39, "A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord." He states in 1 Corinthians 9:5, "Do we not have a right to take along a believing wife, even as the rest of the apostles, and the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?" In 2 Corinthians 6:14 he declares, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?"
Likes and dislikes, hobbies, thoughts on children and discipline, issues of money and work, are also important in making a decision about a spouse. Be assured, it's not about how someone makes you feel. Feelings of love should be there, but the marriage commitment should not be based upon this. To marry the right spouse you must agree with the character and values of the person you will marry. It's the only way to have a great marriage!

Spend Time with Great People

To have a great life you need to spend time with great people! Sometimes we can find great and fascinating people around us at the office or church. We should seek to spend time with them - take them to lunch, get involved in their small group, or invite them to dinner. Find out what makes them tick! Find out the disciplines and motivations of their lives. See if there is anything from their lives which you can add to yours.

Another profitable way to spend time with great people is through reading biographies. This has been one of favorite hobbies. Through biographies I can interact with heroes from the past like William Jennings Bryan, Benjamin Franklin, Eric Liddell and Herbert Hoover (we share a birthday). Not that I agree with everything about them, but I can learn from their strengths and weaknesses. I can see how they made their mark on history, how they dealt with failure and success, and how they made life changing decisions. This is certainly true of the people of the Bible. Abraham, David, Paul. We truly see many bad and good examples in how they lived their lives. Obviously, Jesus is the ultimate mentor. There is no excuse for not spending time with great people when we have biographies to inspire and challenge us.
What people through biographies have influenced your life? Do you have special people you spend time with today who help you be "great"?

Fix your old car

You can have a great life by fixing your old car! Unless you have alot of cash sitting around, or enough income to make payments which don't stretch your budget, it's almost always best to keep fixing your old car rather than buying a new one. An old car can cause stress and hastles, and maybe a hit to your pride, but the stress is much less than car payments you can't afford which seemingly go on forever. I came across a wonderful article which talks of these issues. http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/SaveonaCar/KeepYourOldClunkerOrBuyANewCar.aspx?page=all
Fixing up your old car can relieve possible stress, and help you have a great life!

Enjoying Traditions

Developing traditions will help you have a great life. Traditions are events and habits which make for memories and fun. A tradition can be having roast after church on Sundays or always doing a puzzle over Christmas break. One of the traditions our family enjoys each fall is driving to Louisburg, KS to pick out some pumpkins at a pumpkin patch and then going to the Cider Mill and having apple donuts and cider. We have videos from doing this for about 15 years. We have many other traditions like opening gifts as a family before our Christmas Eve service, going on a family vacation each year, and having frozen pizzas on Sunday evening (Of course, we cook them. ). Just a few traditions (some can also be called disciplines - like going to church each week) can bring a sense of cohesiveness and foundation to your life. Consider starting a tradition this month. With fall, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, it is a great time of year for traditions. These will help you have a memorable and great life.

Take Care of Yourself

If you want to have a great life you need to purposefully take care of your body. Exercise and eating right are essential. There are so many benefits to exercise. Of course, before starting a program you should talk to your doctor (there's my disclaimer). Exercise 4 or 5 times a week, at least twenty minutes, can help your mind stay fresh and give you more energy for whatever you are doing. It also helps you think more positively and feel good about yourself when you're dealing with our struggles in life. If you're feeling low today, take a walk. Shoot some baskets. Lift some weights. Work up a good sweat. One of my best workouts is hitting my "heavy bag." This is great stress relief. You must build exercise into your schedule, just like your daily quiet time and other priorities.
Also, just as your mother told you, eat lots of fruits and vegetables. There are many fad diets out there, but the key is the common sense ideas of staying away from too many sweets and snacks. Drink plenty of water. Many say five glasses of water a day is very helpful. Drinking water is not only good for your system, but will help you feel full in-between meals.
There are many informative sites on the internet which can help motivate and inform you. One I have found helpful is www.nutristrategy.com/health.htm. There are no guarantees to one's health, but we should do what we can to take care of ourselves. This will really help us live a great life.

Spending Too Much

If you want to have a great life, quit spending so much money! Credit Card debt only adds stress. Paying off credit cards adds a sense of accomplishment to your life. Be content with your income, and simplify your life by giving thanks for what you have, not lamenting what you don't. Look for ways to cut your spending by eating out less, going to garage sales, and buying used cars. Don't worry about trying to keep up with what others have, let them have all the stress. Have a goal to save at least 5% of your income for retirement and 5% for special purchases like furniture, or vacations. 10% is even better, but unrealistic for some people.
Critical in this process is developing a budget and tracking what you spend. Just keep receipts for everything you spend one month, and then add them up, along with your check book and credit card purchases. You will be amazed how much the trips to Starbuck's and McDonald's add up. When you budget don't forget quarterly or annual payments like car insurance or Christmas gifts. A financial web-site like www.crown.org will have many ideas for you in properly handling your money. If you will, you will be on the way to getting rid of alot of stress and having a great life. If you ever have any questions, or comments, let me know.

Stress Relief

Most of us have far too much stress in our lives. We go from morning to night, moving from one event to another, with little down time, and lots of stress. We wake up late, hurry to get to work, get caught in traffic, are behind in our deadlines, scurry to our child's soccer practice, with laundry, meals, and bills always inflicting themselves on our "free time." This is not living a great life, but living a "treadmill life."

Critical to living a great life is building margin into your life. Without times of reflection and relaxation, life begins to direct you rather than you directing your life.

An important way to build margin in your life is develop the discipline of having a quiet time of reflection each day.

In his famous and interesting autobiography, Ben Franklin describes his goal to reach moral perfection by considering his life at the beginning and end of each day. He would ask himself in the morning, "What Good shall I do this Day?" and in the evening, "What Good have I done to day?" Franklin looked to God for divine wisdom in living his life. He often prayed, "O Powerful Goodness! bountiful Father! merciful Guide! Increase in me that Wisdom which discovers my truest Intrests; Strengthen my Resolutions to perform what that Wisdom dictates. Accepts my kind Offices to thy other Children, as the only Return in my Power for thy continual Favours to me." A pretty good prayer for a Deist!

Through this kind of daily evaluation, Franklin was able to accomplish much in his life without being overly stressed. However, Franklin did not seem to be overly concerned with morality in his life, and we have to ask, was Franklin prepared for eternity?

Jesus gives us the most helpful example of quiet time. He sought eternal purposes and perspective as He would get up early before His productive day began (Mark 1:35). Though the Son of God, He set aside time with the Father, seeking to affirm and obey the will of God. Because He had divine purpose and perspective in His life, He was ready for whatever came His way, even betrayal and the cross. Never being married and having no children also helped His stress relief!

A great life begins with taking time out to gain perspective on life. We need daily mini-retreats to replenish our souls, understand positive boundaries for our lives, and evaluate our goals. Get up each day with enough time to spend at least 15 minutes in prayer and reading the Bible. Pray for people and events, learn God's ways, and plan for productivity. Look for ways in your life to simplify and slow down, without sacrificing meaning and purpose. Productivity does not necessarily come from busyness. Build some margin in your life through a daily retreat and you will be on your way to having a great life.

It's all about relationships

Critical to having a great life is developing positive relationships. It doesn't matter if you are wealthy or famous, if you don't have positive realtionships in your life that you enjoy, you will not have a great life. Ask Howard Hughes or Lindsey Lohann. Positive relationships make you laugh and build you up. Positive relationships stand by you when you make bad decisions and help you make good decisions.

Take some time to think about the relationships you have in your life. Make a list of 20 people or so who influence you on a regular basis. Maybe you talk with them on the phone. Maybe you see them at church or school. Maybe you work with them or they are a family member. Then consider whether they are people who encourage you and build you up, or people who drag you down. Do you really enjoy being around them or do they drain you of energy?

Focus your time with those who are positive in your life. Obviously, there are some people with whom you have to spend time, but, when you have the choice, don't consistently put yourself around those who drag you down.

Also, consider groups you can get involved in where you can meet more positive people. This may be a small group at church, a group of guys who play basketball from the office, or maybe you need to volunteer at a local charity. These should be people around your same age, who have similar interests, and who will encourage you.

All of us need people in our life who will encourage and support us. A great life is really all about relationships.

Start Now

Critical in living a great life is start where you are at. To live a great life you must take the time to do an honest, realistic overview of how your life is going - your strengths, weaknesses, disappointments, and goals. Set aside a morning on your deck, or take a personal retreat to a coffee house, and think about your strengths and weaknesses. Make a list of your accomplishments, your dreams, your goals. This is a good start to taking a personal inventory which will help you have a great life.